Adam,

I think its about time that we, your coworkers step in. Considering that today, your AIM status is a farewell message to the vending machine, I think it's safe to say you have a slight problem with food. I'm not calling you fat because let's face it, you're not. But Adam, dearest, you are freakishly obsessed with food. You are Motivators own foodie. You sniff out breakroom treats before the email is even sent out and often times, you pop in on departmental celebrations in a Where's Waldo kind of way. I must say, I quite loved the time we said goodbye to a co-worker and you IMed me asking about the cake. You weren't asking me where I got it, you were just making sure it did in fact exist. Don't think that the rest of us don't know how much you favor Rhonda because every time she comes in here she brings food. And as I type this, I'm remembering this morning's biggest problem: you couldn't find the whipped butter for the bagels.

As your co-worker, I feel that it is imperative for me to step in. It's not that you need to stop obsessing with food, but you have to start obsessing over better food. I think I wouldn't have so much of a problem with it if you liked good food, but the sheer fact that you actually ate at the Pop Tarts restaurant in NYC and liked it…no. Just no. And let's not forget that two days ago you tried to bribe me to vote for Chef Boyardee and Ramen in the vending machine. Granted, it's not like we can get Gordon Ramsay quality food in there, but Ramen? Adam…please.

So here are a few promotional products that might help you on your quest to better food.

Leeds Twist All Opener Set
Please use the corkscrew to open a fine wine. The can opener must not be used for Chef Boyardee brand products, and likewise the jar opener can open something classy…like olives. Not Tostitos salsa or peanut butter.

Leeds Savory Cheese Set
This set is not meant for Polly-O my friend. It's not meant for Baby Bell. Please Adam, cut some gouda with this set and leave the days of individually wrapped cheeses behind you.

Classic Fondue Set
How about you toast a French baguette and melt some Gruyere? You can even melt some rich dark chocolate and couple it with some fresh fruit. There are other dips besides the French onion.  And don't you dare tell me Ranch. I will smack you, and it will be for your own good.

Vierge Bamboo Kitchen Utensil Set
You see the size of that spoon, Adam? That will not fit in a Cup O' Noodles. Use it to toss a salad with fresh escarole, baby spinach and some sun dried tomatoes. It's a perfectly acceptable alternative to a Pop Tart Fluffernutter.

Laguiole 2 Piece Carving Set
There's something to be set about carving a roast turkey. In fact that "something" is that a fresh carved Turkey tastes far better when it comes from an over and not an Oscar Meyer package.

I'm hoping that you heed my advice because there are far better things in the world than Cheetos and Beefaroni.

P.S.: Overhearing the plan of you faking your engagement just so Maria will make you "dirt" only makes me think you need this now more than ever.

If there's one thing I love it's the ability to find whatever I need on the Internet in little to no time at all. I can tell you who played a character in a TV show in a matter of seconds. I can translate a sentence with the blink of an eye. So can someone please tell me why, in an age when I can hold my cell phone up to the radio and have it tell me what song is playing, searching for content on the world's fastest growing social media site is the most difficult thing in the world?

Case in point: a few weeks ago at the Television Critic's Association, the networks gave out some fabulous swag. Overwhelmed with awesome blog material, I held out on blogging about the custom Glee soda and figured that eventually I would get around to it. Today when I popped on over to Twitter, I realized that I'd made a huge mistake: I hadn't actually marked the tweet as a favorite or retweeted the picture at all. It was like the kiss of death. I sadly changed my blog topic, but it inspired me to realize that there are some SERIOUS things that need to be fixed with the web-based Twitter platform. These things have probably been said left & right, but they haven't been said here.

The Picture That Started This Whole Mess

1. Search a User's Tweets

I know exactly which of my Twitter friends tweeted the awesome picture of the Glee soda, but in that time they've had many a tweet since then. How about a search box on a user's page? The ability to search for a keyword on a user's page would greatly help people who sincerely care about what SPECIFIC individuals are saying about their brand or if they're saying anything at all. Does this work for big brands? Probably not, but there are far more small businesses than there are Coca Cola's & McDonald's in the world.

2. Search By Date

I also know exactly what date the awesome Twitpic surfaced, but there's no way for me to narrow my friend's tweets to that specific date. The Twitter advanced seach feature, which I'm sure most users don't know about, doesn't help either. Let me ask this, why give me the option to choose a date range that's too old?

What if, in 3 weeks Snooki gets arrested again (please God) and I want to see what people were saying about her when her drunken self first got nabbed by Seaside police? Google will help me find the date of that occurence, but then Twitter will say that it was too long ago for them to be able to help me. That's not okay. If Twitter tells me that they're refusing to give me that information cause Snooki is far too annoying for them to pay attention to, that's another story. That would never happen, regardless of how much I would love them if it did. A calendar option would fix this.

A calendar option added to users pages would vastly improve searchability. I don't want to keep hitting the More button until I find what I need. In fact, the More button is like a Twitter black hole that sucks you into a 140 character vortex of despair.

3. Keyword Search Tracking

Please, please, please tell me Twitter why do I have to use a client like Tweet Deck or Hootsuite to have an easy way to track what people are saying about my brand? I don't want to keep searching "Motivators" in that little search box. I want have a little tab on my profile dedicated to keyword tracking. I want to use Twitter.com because I love you, and I'd rather not cheat on you with one of your clients.

4. View Conversation AS Conversations

You know what sucks? That I see this:

If I'm someone else viewing the @MotivatorsStaff profile, I don't know what's so funny. If this is me 2 weeks from now, I probably forgot what was funny. But do I have the ability to view the WHOLE conversation with one click? No, instead I get redirected to individual status messages. The in reply to link is yet another time sucking black hole. I don't have all day and again, I'd really prefer if I didn't have to go to Tweetdeck or Hootsuite to be able to do this.

5. Image Search

This is probably the most difficult to achieve because there are a number of ways that users upload pictures to Twitter. Howver having the ability to search through a user's tweets that include images on Twitter (rather than Twitpic or another photo sharing service) would allow users to easily search for image content.

Those are just my general gripes about Twitter, since I use it everyday to monitor Motivators social media presence. It'd be swell if I could do that one twitter itself without having to use external client software to do so.

I was just sitting here this morning, checking some @ replies and I realized something. I have the best twitter followers ever. I mean really, could I get any luckier? Whether it's my TV tweeps who are kindly showcasing all the swag they receive at events for me to blog about or my promo industry friends who greet me everyday with a happy little howdy & a wish for a promo product filled day, I just really love all of you guys. The Bones fans constantly retweet all my blogs, and the Chuck fans have helped as well. My friends at Leeds, Fast Track, Imagery Group, Raining Rose and Lanco always make me smile. And I just want to say thank you. Thank you all for making me smile with your words of encouragement, your funny comments, and your general awesomeness. Big hugs to you all.

And for those of you that actually know me, I know what your thinking: Cut the crap Sarah, what do you actually want? You guys think you know me SO well...That I have to be up to something. Well, props to you. You're right. I do want something.

I want money for boobs.

Not for me, I don't need them. But The American Cancer Society does need money to support Breast Cancer. And here at Motivators we're such fans of boobs suporting Breast Cancer Awareness that our team will be walking in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk at Jones Beach on October 17, 2010. This is our 4th year in a row doing it and once again I'm honored to be Team Captain. That being said, I kind of have to make a good showing in my fundraising efforts. So, this is where you come in my dearest, darling-ist Twitter followers. You can easily support me by donating as little or as much as you want on my personal page. Don't worry! You'll still be supporting Motivators as all my donations will be put towards our ultimate team goal. By donating on my page, you'll have a little bit more of a personal connection to the cause!

I know what you're thinking: what's in it for me. What? You want more than a tax deductible reason to support one of your fellow tweeps who's walking for a great cause? Alright fine. I knew it would come to this. It was going to be my secret weapon, my ace in the hole if you will but I need to warn you, its awesomeness is so overpowering it may take your breath away...

I have in my posession a LIMITED EDITION, RARE, IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND...Breast Cancer Ribbon Silly Band. I won't say how or why I got it, but the fact of the matter is that I have it. And I will give it to the tweep who donates the most money to on my page. So...

How much do you love Silly Bands?

How much do you love Breast Cancer Awareness?

How much do you love...ME?

Keep in mind, you guys can easily support Team Motivators directly, but then you won't be getting in on the Silly Band action. You'll also be dead to me. Okay, I am just kidding about that one, but I may not be giving you any follow friday loving anytime soon. I'm also officially declaring every Tuesday to be #Boobsday on Twitter, so expect to see Breast Cancer Awareness tweets from me telling you all some statistics about this disease that affects women and men all over the world.

Also, to my awesome TV Tweeps: If any of you have crazy awesome swag that you're willing to part with, I'll gladly put that up for auction as well. Just DM Me & I'll send you the deets!

Thanks all! And to Victor, my unofficial rival in fundraising...IT'S ON!

The other day, I was digging in my bag to find a pen and shockingly, I couldn't. I say shockingly because I'm being sarcastic. I never have pens on me and the fact that I work in an environment that sells pens doesn't mean anything. I'm all about my iPod touch, and I use it for everything. If I have to jot down a note, that works. If I need to remind myself of something, I can use that. And if I need to make a grocery list, there's an app for that.

The grocery store app was actually what led me to looking for a pen in the first place. I use it anytime I go shopping.  When I showed up at my aunt's house on Saturday, my cousin and I were asked with shopping for a birthday dinner that evening. The long list of items was hand written by my cousin and we quickly departed to Stop & Shop. As we bought things out of order on the list, and I added my own stuff we were soon overwhelmed by a cart full of food. "Give me a pen & I'll cross off what we got," said my cousin. It seemed a simple response, but I had no pen. I dug around in my bag and she grew increasingly frustrated with me. "How do you NOT have a pen?" she asked me. I snapped at her that if we used my grocery app, we wouldn't be having this problem. She called me a name which I shall not repeat, and stomped off muttering "Am I the only one who WRITES things anymore?"

She's definitely not. While there is an increasing demand on technology, there's still a need for the classics. So next time you need a promotional item, choose promotional pens for the win. They can help your recipients avoid grocery store battles with hormonal teenagers. Or something.

Any company certainly could have had some logo exposure this summer if they'd given the staff of Motivators (or any company on the East Coast) some custom water bottles. The hot and humid temperatures here on the east coast have been counteracted by thunderstorms, and it's making me think I need another letter to Mother Nature. Let's not forget that she's listened in the past. Aside from the one request of sending David Boreanaz to shovel out my car, she did make the snow go away.  So let's try this again:

Dear Mother Nature:
It has come to my attention that recently, you've directed a rather brutal heat wave at the East Coast. While I mean no disrespect, it's just that…well, the other day I sweated through my pants and nearly had to go buy new ones. Had it not for a deserted-ish parking lot, my Yoga trained flexibility, and a recently cleaned AC vent, it would have been a whole ‘nother story. Yes, I was able to survive without laying out some cash for new pants but had I not had one of those three elements, I would have been screwed. So please, let's talk about this weather.

Before you argue that you counter the brutal heat with thunderstorms, I have to ask: do you even understand what you're doing with those? It'd be fine if it was cold rain that you were showering down upon us in torrents, but it's not. It's hot rain and it comes down so hard that it blows my umbrella inside out. The other day, it blew out my power and I was actually forced to communicate with my mother. I know this doesn't mean much to you, but you've never met my mother.

So while I'm thankful that the ungodly,insufferable heat has boasted sales of custom water bottles, I'm not thankful that I sweated through my pants and broke an umbrella/had to converse with my mother. Surely, there's gotta be something you can do about this.

Sincerely,
Pants Sweatin' in NY.

My armpits…they cry stinky tears. ~Chris Griffin. (Family Guy)

My keys are usually one of two places: in my bag or on my sideboard in my den at home. They're in only two places for one reason. If I keep them anywhere else, I'll lose them. Luckily, it hasn't happened yet but I'm not putting it past myself. I'm fairly certain that I'd lose my head if it weren't attached to my shoulders. Sadly, right now the only way for me to identify my keys is by my lack of custom key chains. For some reason, my keys don't seem to be enjoying them recently. I had a super adorable purse key chain that broke. Last week, my Scottie keychain decided to commit suicide as well. I happened to just be walking down the street, and low and behold my crystal encrusted pooch took a sidewalk dive while the rest of my keys remained in my grasp.

I haven't replaced either the bag or the dog key chain because I'm very particular about my custom key chains. I'm not going to just put any old key chain on my keys. I want something that's going to stand out (like my purse) and something that speaks to who I am (like my Scottie). I think it's safe to say that anyone who uses custom key chains feels the same way. When you've got the perfect key chains to truly represent who you are, you'll always be able to find your keys.

As everyone else is re-adjusting to life without Darth Vader masks and light sabers, the rest of us are gathering up all the post Comic-Con scoop that's coming out of the world's greatest geek event. Somehow Comic-Con has become synonymous with movies and TV, so there were plenty of stars to be had at this year's event. Gleeks went nuts on Sunday as McKinley High's favorite Glee club stopped by with their creators and executive producers to talk season two. Trubies were treated to scoop from the upcoming season of True Blood. Yours truly may or may not have sped on the Wantaugh parkway to catch Marisa Roffman's live coverage of the Bones panel. Someone even stabbed someone else with a pen when they couldn't get a seat in one of the ballrooms for a panel.

Note: Motivators does not condone using promotional pens to stab others. While we do have a wide selection of promotional multi-function pens, none of them should be used for shanking a nerd.

Yes, there were many things you may have missed at Comic-Con, but fear not my loyal blog readers (all 2 of you), I have scoured the Twitterverse and found all the great action that went down from the front-liners themselves: the journalists. For three days my twitter feed was nothing but Comic-Con updates and while it was mostly to get pictures of swag, I really wanted the inside scoop. I wanted to know what it's like to be one of these brave individuals. Maybe it's my obsession with Bones, but this was like an anthropological study for me. I needed to know what it was like. Here's the exclusive intel that I gathered.

You won't have great internet connection, says the Chicago Tribune's Mo Ryan

And that press pass doesn't mean you're awesome. You still have to wait in line says Give Me My Remote's Marisa Roffman:

There will be line drama says E! Online's Jenna Mullins

 You'll eat crap according to Mullins and Give Me My Remote's Korbi Ghosh 

(In response to your question, Korbi...that's totes awesome.)

But if you forgo eating crap, you'll want to eat crap says Hit Fix's Daniel Fienberg

 Eventually, hunger will prevail...and you will forgo celebrities for breakfast meat.

(Alright...in his defense, he didn't get into Ballroom 20. So calm down Nathan, he didn't willingly choose bacon over you.)

Something that all of us here at Motivators knew already, but now we have proof thanks to Meg Masters (assistant editor of E! Online): promotional products will make everything all better.

You will see unbelievably attractive celebrities...

You'll Frighten Showrunners...

You may get sexually harassed by celebrities, says Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello.

But only if you're lucky says The Futon Critic's Jim Halterman.

Annie Stamell advises that your friends back home will be jealous and will try to convince themselves that their lives are just as cool as yours...

 They Will Fail.

You'll have to sit by some crazy fans...

You may even know some of them...

Beneath it all, you'll still be a fan...

Even though the entire experience will exhaust you beyond belief...

You'll go home happy.

So, what say you journalists? Did I nail it? And for my loyal readers, if you guys want the real scoop for everything you missed check these guys out. If anything, you owe it to these hard-working journalists to see the scoop they acquired. And hey, they didn't even have to stab anyone in the face to get it.

Follow On Twitter

Michael Ausiello

Marisa Roffman

Mo Ryan

Jenna Mullins

Korbi Ghosh

Annie Stamell

Jim Halterman

Meg Masters

Daniel Fienberg

A few weeks ago Dan, one of our newest Motivators mentioned that he and I should switch iPods for a day, just to see what it would be like. Here at Motivators, as content developers, our jobs focus around writing and we use our iPods to drown out the general office noise that goes on around us. If we can't write with silence encompassing us from all around, we may as well have some kick a$$ tunes right? So, when Dan originally suggested that we switch iPods for a day, I was intrigued. I was also terrified, but we'll go with intrigued first.

It would be interesting for me to see what my co-worker likes to listen to while he's typing away at product descriptions, writing an article or blogging about his embarassing obsession with the Kardashians. What gets his creative juices flowing? That's all good...but then there's that fear.

The fear of giving up my iPod for an entire day. My music being judged by someone else. I mean, if the iPod shuffles over onto the Ducktales theme song, that's totally gangster in my mind, but what will he think? Will I lose any respect he might have for me when he realizes that I actually own a Justin Bieber song? In my defense, I didn't buy it. In my defense of not buying it, I didn't steal it. I just got it, alright? But anyway, we decided on just an hour rather than a day and the hour went something like this...

1 Mouna Bowa: The String Cheese Incident

Firstly, 2 thumbs up on that band name. That's just phenomenal. The song makes me feel like I'm at a state fair in Texas and that I should be entered into a watermelon eating contest. Kinda reminds me of that song "Call Me Al." Good times, no lyrics, but still good times.

2. Can't We Be Friends: Ella and Louis

Classic. A little smooth sailing on this track and it makes me sway in my chair. I feel like I should be wearing a long ball gown and holding one of those long cigarette holders. But getting a little psychological here, why this song Dan? It's so...long lost love, so love forlorn. Were you burned by someone recently? Did that special someone slip away?  We'll discuss this all later. (Note: we probably won't)

3. First Street: Soulive

I saw the name soulive and got excited for a minute, before I realized that they weren't that Canadian pop band Soul Decision that I was thinking of. This is yet another instrumental track, a little less bouncy than the String Cheese Incident, but equally as groovy. Overall feelings: meh. It kinda seems like high quality elevator music, but hey how do I know that Dan didn't spend many of his formative years riding many elavators. Maybe it's like that episode of Tiny Toons, where the baby Plucky Duck just rides the elvator all day long..."No you push the button! I push the button! Elalator go down the hoooole!" Dan, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, please Google Tiny toons and then YouTube that clip. Then bring me a stiff drink because if you need to do that, then I'm feeling old and I'm not okay with that.

4. Across the Universe: The Beatles

God help me for saying this, and God help me for being a Brit and saying this but....I don't like the Beatles. I know. I've heard it all. Don't even bother asking me what's wrong with me because I can't tell you, BUT I will say, that I enjoy this song. It's mellow and it reminds me of Jenn, therefore two thumbs up on this pick,

5. Divided Sky: Phish

It was a 17 minute song. It was really long. It was music in my ears...and in the ever immortal words of Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

6. Trouble: Ray LaMontagne

Ahh, to make up for the really long Phish song, Dan comes back with one of my favorite songs in the world. Okay, that's definitely taking it too far, but I like it. My Pandora Glee station shuffles it all the time, and if I'm not mistaken, it was used on Bones. Although, I could just be making that up. There's a high probability of that.

7. Bell Bottom Blues: Derek and the Dominoes

Kind of a hippy-esque, jazzy, bluesy concoction here and I enjoy it. "do you wanna see me crawl across the floor? do you wanna see me beg you to take me back?" Ah, yes...more evidence of that heartbreak. Dan, there's something you aren't telling me here or it's just a good song and I've overdone it on my Dr. Phil back eps on the DVR again.

8. Help On the Way: The Grateful Dead

Hey Dan, you know who's a huge dead head? Your favorite actor...David Boreanaz. You know who's not? His co-star Emily Deschanel. In this case, we are very similar to the cast of Bones. :) Sorry. I know you loathe any and all comparisons to him cause you've hated him since Buffy, but you can rest assured he does have decent taste in music...by your standards at least. Me, eh. Not all that thrilled.

9. The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down: The Band

It's southern and almost country. I like it. Although The Band? Who chose that name? I feel like that just leaves them open to a whole slew of "Who's on First?" jokes.

10. Only Shallow: My Bloody Valentine

Unlike everything else on this playlist and I'm fairly certain I've heard this before, but that thought is coming out of my head upon my second listen of this song on your iPod. So technically, it's not a lie but it feels very...dark club scene on Law & Order SVU right before they find a body.

based on these songs, I'vbe chosen a few promo products that I feel best work for you:

1. Alpine Aluminum Bottle: Alot of the songs were kind of groovy, kind of hippy environmentalisty (that's a word, I promise). So you can use it when you're out enjoying nature.

2. Promotional Flash Drives: You need to back up those 17 minute Phish songs. God forbid you lose one of them. :) Seriously though, they're good things to have on hand.

3. Valentine Heart Stressball: Maybe it's the Dr. Phil talking, but I feel like you need this. :(

4. Promotional First Aid Kits: Mostly because of the song help is on the way, but again always good to have on hand.

So our first iPod experiment was a success, although I'm glad it was only an hour and not an entire day. Because in my opinion Zack & Kelly's Breakup > The Grateful Dead.

Today is a sad day for those of us that you would call...well, you'd call us nerds. Out in the fair city of San Diego, there are plenty of people enjoying the wonderous experience known as Comic Con. They walk upon ninjas, jokers, zombies, wookies, and Darth Vaders to gather swag and stalk see their favorite TV stars. Then there are those of us stuck in the real world that cannot go to this glorious event. For whatever reason you may have, whether it's the fact that you're saving your money and vacation days for the birth of your new godson (ya had to get pregnant this year Nicole? I mean REALLY) or the fact that tickets sold out as fast as the last Justin Bieber tour, you can share your remorse on Twitter with other tweeps who are alone in their lack of nerdiness. Simply use the tag #notatcomiccon on your tweets to join in the real world conversations with those of us who are #notatcomiccon.

It was recently debated between @stamos and @thesurfreport what the official tag should be for those of us lacking the ability to walk amongst the wookies. Should it be #notatcomiccon or #notatSDCC. Sure the second one is shorter, but the first explains itself better. So I guess, if you'd rather be in the closet with your dorkiness, go for the second. If you're willing to stand up at your desk and be a proud nerd then join us in live tweeting the "exciting" life you're leading #notatcomicon. I'll be sitting at my desk retweeting all the awesome pictures of the awesome swag that everyone out there is receiving, but in the meantime I'll also be joining in the convo about my life #notatcomiccon. I mean, you want to be in on these convos:

jeezjon I've had the luck of eating from an In-N-Out truck two days in a row. Probably should detox... but nah. #notatcomiccon

MotivatorsStaff got a cookie for helping maria with her email. who needs swag? #notatcomiccon http://twitpic.com/27mkfz

TRathbone I think I'm going to add more hot water to this teabag. #notatcomiccon

stamos The copy machine is broken. Again. #notatcomiccon

joshjackson I'm starting to understand how other music fans feel when everyone else is tweeting about SXSW. #notatcomiccon #sdcc

Ben_Dale COMIC CON! STOP DISTRACTING ME AND LET ME GET BACK TO WORK! #notatcomiccon

And finally, the one tweet that inspired this blog:

TVMoJoe @maskedscheduler Reading your tweet about @franklinavenue. Maybe we can start a trending topic: #notatcomiccon 

YES! Do It. Trend it, Make it happen.

Here at Motivators, we're dedicated to the keeping on top of the latest promotional trends. Were also addicted…to dancing. There are many dances in the world of Motivators.  A few of our favorites include:

Adam's "It's someone's birthday and there's cake/treats in the breakroom" dance.
The "Surprise email letting us know that we're getting out early before a holiday" dance.
My own personal "Someone of great importance acknowledged/retweeted us on Twitter" dance.

 Although, last week we were introduced to a new one:

The "I Just Got a New Pen" dance.

In fact, this dance was so grand that Anthony went ahead and filmed it.

Alison has every right to be dancing. New pens are fun and getting them should make you want to dance. In fact, this leads us to our big contest announcement:

We Want to See YOUR Pen Dance.

Film a quick video of you doing your own pen dance and upload it as a video response to our video on YouTube. Our staff will vote on the best video and the winner will be rewarded with 150 Slimster Pens imprinted with your company logo and information.

How to Upload a Video Response on YouTube:
1. Create a YouTube Account if you don't already have one.
2. Click on The Promotional Twist Pen Dance by Motivators
3. Beneath the video, click on the box that says "Respond to this video…"
4. Click on the Attach a Video link on the right.

Hurry & Upload Your Video Today Because the Contest Ends Friday, September 17, 2010!