Yes, that's correct, it's a stop sign or as people in my neighborhood like to think of them as "optional pauses."

You know it! It means you can't go faster than 50. Or in my mother's mind, you can't go faster than 75.

If this one isn't self explanatory, please stop by my desk and hand me your car keys. If not in this office, drop them in the mail. Seriously.

And now, one final one:

If you guessed "Attention Drunks" you guessed correctly. These road signs, constructed in a town in Romania, just 10 miles from the Hungarian border are designed to warn drivers to watch out for overly intoxicated individuals who may be wandering the streets. Apparently, the signs were constructed after a "despairing number of accidents involving drunken revelers." The town has a very vibrant nightlife and being so close to the Hungarian border, traffic is heavy. The two clearly don't mix. Somehow, I do not think these particular signs will be able to get their own promotional stress balls, as the stop sign has. However, anyone who's ever been to Huntington Village during the St. Patty's Day parade can attest that sometimes, there is well worthwhile cause for signs such as these.

I'm not going to lie, sometimes my apartment's a bit messy. I'm hardly a neat freak but I can manage to store everything neatly admist my organized chaos and it's a system that works for me. But this weekend, the spring cleaning bug bit me and held on tight for two whole days. Saturday morning I got home from the gym and decided to tackle my apartment. Normally, I'll straighten some things out and eventually think, "Eh, good enough." My clothes will be put away neatly, my bed will be made and I'll be satisfied with that. I'll vacuum and call it a day. I figured, when I started picking up clothes off the floor Saturday morning that thats what would happen.

Cue to me sitting on my kitchen floor Sunday afternoon scrubbing the linoleum with an old toothbrush, I realized that this was no ordinary cleaning situation.

I put away all my clothes and sorted all my laundry. I then put away all my DVDs and alphabetized them. Then I reorganized the closet unit in my wall. I organized my wrapping paper and gift trunk. Then I hit the hall closet and reorganized everything, and threw away a bunch of stuff. When the time came to hit up the kitchen, I did all the dishes that were sitting in the sink. And then I took all the silverware out of the drawer and washed that. And then I cleaned every single dish in the cabinet. Upon realizing that I should buy a new sponge, I stopped cleaning to go grocery shopping. And when I got back I cleaned out the fridge.

I tackled the bathroom with great disdain, but now my faucet is shinier than Mr. Clean's head. And when my best friend arrived to watch the Oscar's last night (since she'd been affected by the Cablevision/ABC dispute and I have fios) she walked in and coughed. "God, it smells like cleaning stuff in here. How are you not high?" I joked, "I've been cleaning since yesterday. Maybe that's why I can't stop."

In all seriousness, I did not inhale. I did however come across about ten billion promotional items that I forgot I had. I now have a whole slew of promotional pens in my neatly organized drawers. All my menus are hanging nicely on my fridge thanks to a promotional magnetic memo clip. My promotional ad stool came in quite handy when I needed to clean my microwave which lives atop my fridge. And in addition to finding some promotional products that I forgot I had, I also managed to find my camera charger, a How I Met your Mother DVD that's been missing since I got it and several pieces of clothing that I forgot I owned. All in all, it was a win for the weekend. And it looks like my Spring Cleaning burst came just in time: it was 66 degrees outside when I went to lunch. Giggity giggity goo!

Ah, the things I pick up from trending topics on Twitter. Today, my dear readers, is National Grammar Day. That's right, today is the day to pay tribute to all the wonderful facets that help us fully express ourselves through written and spoken word. I think I shall have some fun with this by picking on some of the grammatically incorrect lyrics that bombard our ear drums on a daily basis. Ok, they bombard my ear drums on a daily basis. This will further serve as proof that I listen to the most awful music on the planet, but it will also serve as proof that you don't need to be educated to be famous.

New Kids on the Block, please step forward.

Oh, boys, I love you so. Your lyrics however, leave much to be desired, grammatically speaking. You came back with your hit song Summertime, only to prove that you are as uneducated as you were when you wrote Dirty Dawgs. 

Problem lyric: "As long as we was together."

Problem: Incorrect verb tense.

Solution: Smack to the face. Donnie Wahlberg, you're almost 40. You know better than this.

*Honorable mention goes to the title Sexify My Love. Sexify is not a word.

Next up: Everyone's favorite teen, Justin Bieber.

Young man, you are not helping the youth of America. 

Problem lyric: "Shorty was an eenie meenie miney mo lover."

Solution: Any sort of an education. Had young Mr. Bieber had a childhood instead of singing in front of his mother's video camera, he might know that eenie meenie miney mo is a game, thus it is a noun, not an adjective. **

Finally: Ke$ha

Her music is great to work out to and yet her lyrics kill you a little every time you listen to them.

Problem lyric: The entire song Tik Tok.

Solution: I can't think of one, except maybe prayer.

Honorable mention goes to the spelling/pronounciation of her name.

I want to suggest buying these people promotional pens but I sincerely wonder if they'd have any idea how to use them.

Ah, proofreading. In college, my friends used to throw their papers at me and say "Proof this!" Sadly, (or maybe stupidly) I never charged for my services. And one of my favorite things is receiving promotional products  that have been misprinted. Accidents happen; sometimes it's inevitable. For example, one of my favorite pens says "Runaway For A Cure." It was meant to be given out for a Breast Cancer fashion show and somehow, no one noticed that extra "a" in there. And then there's this guy that showed up in our offices.

In case you couldn't tell, that's supposed to read "FUN." Our quality control department caught it right away, but the few that did get misprinted were sent here and I snagged one, because what's better than a robot stressball that's angry about a child's 1st birthday? Let's be honest, mistakes happen. And if you don't believe me, take a look at this picture that Caroline Hylton, writer of the Fox hit Bones just tweeted. She added: "$32 million and they couldn't pay someone to proofread the sign."

 Something's wrong. Can you spot it?

Well, the official weigh-in for the Motivators Biggest Loser contest happened this morning and I was less than pleased with my result. I have a lot to lose, but that's even more of a motivator! And honestly, going to the gym definitely helps...except when they have pizza.

I know what you're thinking. A gym...pizza? That just seems counterproductive. But apparently, it's true. At least, on the first Monday of the month at my gym. Personally? I'm not a fan.

It's bad enough that yesterday I had to blog about this contest so that I could stay strong and not indulge in the free pizza that was in the kitchen here at the office. I managed, I had my Slim Fast and I drank my water. I even skipped Danny's birthday brownies come 3:30 and I headed back to the gym after work. I didn't get enough done in my morning workout, so I figured an extra mile on the elipitical wouldn't kill me. I stared, confused, at the pizza boxes when I walked in and moved past the glorious aroma to head downstairs. And that's when I saw it.

My gym was PACKED. There wasn't an eliptical to be had, nor a treadmill, nor that other weird machine that's kinda like an eliptical, but not. The exercise bikes that resemble spin bikes were all taken and after much searching, I finally managed to snag another bike. The problem with the bike is that it doesn't burn NEARLY as many calories as the eliptical, but I was so overwhelmed by the stench of sweat mixed with a mish mosh of colognes and perfumes, that I didn't care. I gave myself twenty five minutes and set to it. When I was finished, I was just able to get on the weight machines that I needed to, but other than that it was pretty much a #FAIL.

I realized when Jenn explained to me this morning about the pizza party thing, that clearly all those people were there for pizza. I've been going to the gym daily for almost 2 weeks now, and I had never seen half of those people before. I've also never seen it more crowded. It was either that or it was because everyone declares the 1st of the month to begin the new diet, and eventually everyone falls off. But the pizza thing, that's a little ridiculous.

After all, 1 slice of pizza boasts about as many calories as one would burn in 25 minutes on the eliptical. That's so great. Bust your butt, feel the burn and then pop upstairs and throw everything you just worked for into the garbage. Really, what is the point? Wouldn't it be better to just hand out a promotional pizza cutter imprinted with the words "You sure you wanna do this?" or "If this isn't cutting a low-fat veggie quesadilla, then Houston we have a problem!"

I should know that pizza is a great motivator...we use pizza parties as goals here at the office all the time. The promise of a pizza party did result in nealy 500lbs of food being donated to Island Harvest. However, it's not the greatest reward for people trying to lose weight. And yes, I'll be skipping "Bagel Tuesday" next week also.

Technically, today was supposed to be the weigh in for our Biggest Loser: Motivators Edition, but since the snow hindered some of our plans on Friday, it's been pushed back til tomorrow. But just because we haven't hit the scale yet, doesn't mean that we're not already on our way to a healthier lifestyle. Just this morning, I ran into both Jenn and Ali at the gym. Props to both of them for being conscious AND active at those hours. Having done it myself, I understand that it's rough. And if the lack of brownies eaten by the IT department in celebration of Danny's birthday is any indication of how we can resist, it's gearing up to be a serious competition.

And let us not forget that we here at Motivators love a competition. Our Thanksgiving Food Drive pitted departments against each other to see who could bring in the most food and the result was sales winning a pizza party and 400lbs of food being donated to Island Harvest.  

I've got my tools set and ready to go. My promotional water bottle has been getting a workout, and my promotional tumbler is no longer filled with Green Mountain Coffee's delicious espresso blend with a dash of tiramisu coffee mate. Instead, it's now filled with Slim Fast, which honestly I do like. I've determined that the exercise bike is an excellent spot to truly enjoy morning episodes of Angel and I can laugh my way through Friends in the evening while on the eliptical. That's not to say that I'm gym-ing it up twice a day, I just assume that not all mornings will I be as conscious as I was this morning. My bed is awfully comfortable.

So with all that being said, bring on the scale! I think we're all ready for it!

It's not that I don't love you. I do, believe me. But can we talk about this snow? Because it's getting to be a little much. Actually according to the foot that's already on the ground outside, it already is a little much. Now normally, I wouldn't care all that much. But considering the fact that for Lent, I've made the resolution to get to the gym, you're kind of hindering my plans here. Thanks to no plows on my roads this morning, I could even get out of my house. And if you think that the forty five minutes of shovellng I did this morning counts as my exercise for the day, then you can hand me a check for my chiropractor, because I'll tell you this lady: it ain't the same.

You see, I can't measure my snow shoveling with a promotional pedometer. However, I can easily rank my back pain and after your last blizzard, it was a 10. So thanks for that. I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am that that little rat called Phil was correct when he saw his shadow. Were you two in cahoots? I mean he sees it and then two weeks later we get hit with two massive snow storms? I think something's up.

So here I sit...in the same position that I've sat in for the past 8 hours, as my poor car sits outside hidden under probably 3 snowbanks by now. I checked on her this morning and then just plain gave up. So here's what I'm demanding:

90 degree temperatures starting at 7PM this evening. It should give you enough time to get some things together to make it happen. You see, I want to wake up tomorrow and find my car completely free of the white stuff.

75 degree temperatures starting tomorrow and keeping hold until the appropriate times when said temperatures need to fluctuate. Note: They may only go higher. Any temperature that drops below 75 and you will be sorry. (I feel so Dennis Hopper in speed)

I want to use my promotional sunscreen and I want to go back to the gym where I've found it oddly soothing to distract myself from the elipical by staring at people's promotional t-shirts.

So, make it happen. Make it happen now.

PS: Should any of my demands not be met, I will accept David Boreanaz with a shovel as an appropriate subsitute.

There's nothing better than your bed. It's your soft little happy haven of coziness that welcomes you with fluffiness at the end of a rough day and begs you not leave it in the mornings. And trust me, I know its hard to resist, but once you're out and on your way, you can look forward to going back to it. Beds are just generally awesome places to be, especially on horribly awful rainy days like today in New York. Would I prefer my pillow to any of my promotional umbrellas? Sure. I mean, I love me some promotional products but, that's just a no brainer right there. But if there's one thing that gets me through the hours til I can get back to my snuggly sheets, it's my iPod. As Michael Buble softly croons in my ears, I find my fingers flitting across the keyboard and the hours just fly by. Yes, I love both my bed and my iPod. If only there was a way that I could combine those two...

It's the 21st century, of course there's a way! In a world that created such a wonder as chocolate dipped bacon, (google it and see for yourself, I'm not kidding!) of course there's a way to combine your love for your pod and your bed! Check out these custom iPod sheets! Courtesy of Oddee's list of the 12 Coolests Sheets and Blankets, these iPod sheets are definitely perfect for the techie that's perpetually lazy. Considering that I use my iPod as my alarm clock, I can understand the reliance. My iPod stays under my pillow and when I hear that little chirp, I know that its my time to face the day. And regardless of how I know I have to get up, some days I just want to hit the iSnooze button. What can I say? iSleep...so sue me! :)

I will openly admit it, I'm sarcastic. I can't help it, it's just who I am. I prefer a quippy retort to just a plain old answer and sometimes my eyes really have trouble not rolling in the back of my head. My sarcasm is all in good fun, so if ever you think that I'm being the b word, I assure you I'm not. It's just how my humor comes out sometimes. It's for this reason that Ken, our wonderful CEO gave me one of the best bumper stickers that I've ever seen. It simply reads:

National Sarcasm Society. Yeah, like we need YOUR support.

And with this in mind, it's no surprise that I absolutely adore these new rectangular sassy luggage tags. Now normally I leave my product recommendation blogs elsewhere, but when I see something that I absolutely love I have to share. And this one, I love. These promotional rectangular sassy luggage tags are not your average tags, not by a long shot. On one side, they'll have your company's imprint. Ok, yeah I know that's a little common. But it's on the flip side where it gets fun. You can choose from a variety of fun, sassy (the PC way to say sarcastic) imprints. They're as follows:

• got luggage? go find it. this is my bag.
• who are you calling an old bag?
• we all look alike, but i'm taken.
• i come with baggage. (sure you want it?)
• what happens on the road stays on the road.
• omg! stop grabbing me!
• are we there yet?
• i'm going direct...to the laundry room.
• let me guess! you're not from around here.
• bag of tricks.

Finally, my luggage can be as snarky as I am. Plus, what better place to be snarky than at an airport? You suffer through security, you bite your tongue and just deal with that whiny three year old behind you kicking your seat. You're just ready to leave and who could blame you. Travel is at best, annoying and at worst an absolute hassle. Baggage claim can be as good a place as any to punch someone out, except for the fact that that's generally frowned upon in society. So let your promotional rectangular sassy luggage tags do the talking for you. After all, once people read these, they'll get a glimpse into your personality and they may just leave you alone. To really see the glory of these bad boys, check out their video.

And speaking of sarcastic, if you haven't yet watched Anthony's fabulous video about the promotional empty mardis gras jars, you really need to. For as much as Anthony and I disagree on TV (which isn't that much honestly) his sarcastic tone in in this video truly makes you understand why he and I get along so well. 

So you've heard about the twitter, yes? You may even have your own account. And if you follow this blog, you may have seen my change in tune from Twitter hater to Twitter lover. I really do love twitter for giving us the ability to interact with our customers, our colleagues and some generally fun people. (@justingroy by way of @garretpopcorn anyone?) Not to mention the celebrity factor. With Twitter I can get exclusive updates from celebs that I wouldn't know on a daily basis. For example, today @nathanfillion of the hit TV show Castle (and Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog) visited the set of Chuck and snapped a photo of himself with the cast. I now know that @stephenfry will be on the Late Late Show with @craigyferg tomorrow and I have a reason to tivo. We won't even get into the TV show spoiler factor of this or how well it's fed my Bones obsession. Before Twitter, I would have only dreamed of an exec producer of my favorite show passing along one of my blogs to his legions of followers. Now? Been there, done that and I'm still eternally grateful to @harthanson. And then there's the 7 year old girl living inside of me that shrieks everytime @DonnieWahlberg retweets the link to my YouTube video of him @JoeyMcintyre and @JonathanRKnight jumping into the water at Jones Beach.

But a recent story on Mashable caught my eye (and yes, I did find it from an @mashable tweet) regarding a Denny's social media fiasco. Apparently, the popular restaurant chain's dine in menus have been inviting people to "Join the Conversation and follow @Dennys on Twitter!" Not unusual considering the fact that everyone seems to be on Twitter these days, except there's one tiny issue.

The account @Dennys actually belongs to a man in Taiwan.

The two legit Denny's accounts are actually @DennysAllNightR and @DennysGrandSlam. (Personally, I think @MoonsOverMyHammy deserves its own account, but that's a different blog for a different day.) As far as the mistake is concerned, the co-owner of the social media agency responsible for the misprint stated that he doesn't think that there's any harm in displaying the wrong Twitter name. Well of course there's not, but there's also no benefit is there? And isn't that the point? Anyone else in the PR world boggled by that comment?

Oh and fun fact, do not follow @motivators. See, how I didn't even link that? It's because it's not us. Here's an OFFICIAL VERIFIED LIST of all the Motivators Twitter Accounts:

@MotivatorsPP

The most Official Motivators Account there is. It boasts sales, specials, news, articles and links to the Alot More Than Just Promos blog.

@MotivatorsStaff

A fun look behind the scenes at how this crazy place produces all your promotional products with links to this blog and commentary from yours truly.

@MotivatorsTV

The best place to find out information about all the latest promotional product videos being shown on Motivators.tv and our YouTube channel. Don't be surprised if you see some tweets about Lost, as Anthony (our biggest Lost fan) is your tweeter.

@GoGreenBlog

Similar to the @MotivatorsStaff account, a few of us tweet on this and pass along all the eco-friendly news. It also boasts a direct feed to the Motivators Go Green Blog.

That being said, HAPPY TWEETING EVERYONE!